So you’ve got your eye on a single mom. She’s smart, strong, and beautiful, but also a bit of a mystery. How can you make this relationship work? And how do you let her know that you’re not just playing games—without getting overly involved too soon?.....See Full Story>>.....See Full Story>>
Before you start dating a single mom or explore taking this relationship to the next level, here are 18 things you should know before dating a single mom.
1. Know that she’s got a lot on her plate.
When you’re dating a single mom, it’s not just about you and her. This may seem obvious on nights when she has her kids – but it’s something to keep in mind during her free time too. For single moms who are juggling dating with a job and kids, free time is precious, and while she will want to spend many of her nights off with you, she’ll likely want some ‘me time’ too. No work, no kids, no dates, just Netflix and a bath (or, let’s be honest, some actual sleep!). Give her space to recharge and you’ll find that the time you do spend together is better than ever.
2. Ex Factor.
If you are the type to get jealous that she’s still friendly with his ex, don’t waste your time on her. His ex is his kid’s dad and they’ll always be in contact, so you had better be able to handle that.
3. Care about her kids.
While developing a relationship with your partner’s kids will take time, you should show that you care about her children. Be open to having picnics or other outings with the kids and don’t always expect an abundance of one-on-one time with their mom. When your partner talks about her children, ask questions and practice active listening.
4. Don’t dwell on your partner’s past.
Many single parents have heartbreak in their past, whether that’s from a divorce, a break-up, or the death of a beloved spouse. Understand that this might affect your relationship to an extent, and it might take time to build trust.
A single mom has likely gone through heartbreak of some kind, and so have her children. It’s not an easy task to just move forward without emotional scars still lingering. They’re not only afraid of getting hurt, but they’re afraid of hurting their children all over again.”
5. Flexibility is key – even on date night.
Started dating a single parent? You’ll soon learn the importance of flexibility – and the difficulty of spontaneity. When you’re dating a single mom you can’t just whisk her away for a romantic weekend: not when she has to organize a babysitter, emergency numbers, and replacement routines. Even when you do plan something like a date night in advance, there’s always a chance a single mom may have to call it off to deal with a sick kid or cancelled sitter. Be understanding, be supportive, and when she can make it, it will feel all the more precious.
6. She has romantic history. Deal with it.
Want to be a part of a single mom’s life? Then you’re going to have to deal with the fact that her ex may very likely still be around. She might have a friendly co-parenting deal, she might want her ex to step up more; either way, you’ll be expected to appreciate the presence her ex has in her life. Don’t try to outdo them or replace them and, most of all, try not to feel jealous if she spends time with them. Just remind yourself that she chooses you each day.
7. Follow her lead when it comes to you and her kids.
One of the most important rules of dating single mom is to let her set the pace when it comes to her kids. When it’s early days, it’s vital that you be her partner first and a potential parent to her kids a very distant second. You may not even get to meet them until she’s sure of you, and you need to be OK with that.
8. Recognize That Dating a Single Mom Is Different.
Her time is limited, and much of her energy goes toward taking care of her kids. But she’s also much clearer about what she wants in life, and that’s an attractive quality!.
9. Accept That Her Top Priority Will Always Be Her Children.
In other relationships, you may have been able to gauge a woman’s feelings for you by how much time and energy she put into your relationship. When you’re dating a single mom, this isn’t necessarily the case. She may not have the time to see you as often as she’d like, and it’s not always as simple as hiring a sitter to go out. Instead of taking the limits on her time as a slight, learn to look for other expressions of her feelings for you.
10. Let Your Girlfriend Discipline Her Own Children.
When you’re dating a single mom, let her handle 100% of the kids’ discipline. The only exception to this rule is if she specifically asks for your support or help. If you have concerns about the kids’ behavior, talk with your girlfriend about it privately. Never attempt to handle the issue yourself without discussing it with her first.
11. Stay Clear of Any Drama With Her Ex.
If there’s tension with her ex, let your girlfriend handle it. She’s been doing a pretty good job up to this point! Of course, you can support her and encourage her, but don’t contact her ex on her behalf or get involved in an ongoing court battle over their custody agreement.
12. Pace Yourself.
It’s important to give your relationship time to develop. Don’t rush into moving in together or getting engaged. Instead, take it slow and focus on developing trust before you take your relationship to the next level.
13. Offer Emotional Support.
As a single mom, there is a tremendous amount of pressure on your girlfriend to provide for her children financially and emotionally. Be the kind of boyfriend who can listen to the things she’s going through without trying to “solve” every problem for her. She’s strong, and she will work it out in time. Offering support and encouragement along the way will help you build a stronger bond together.
14. Be Trustworthy.
As a single mother, your girlfriend may have experienced situations previously where she depended on someone who was not trustworthy. Set yourself apart by being someone she can trust. Be responsible to her without being responsible for her.
15. Allow Your Relationship With Her Kids to Develop Naturally.
Don’t try to be too much too soon to either your girlfriend or her children. If you’re not sure about how involved you want to be with the kids, be open and honest about that. Talking about it can ease both of your concerns. At the same time, it’s important for both your girlfriend and her children that you don’t begin to take on a role that you can’t maintain for the long haul.
3 reasons dating a single mom can be fantastic.
1. She’s practical and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
If there’s one thing dating a single mom teaches you, it’s that they are the definition of capable. If you’re looking for a delicate princess who wants you to wait on her every whim, keep right on walking. But if you want a practical, can-do partner who can take on what comes her way, a single mom is a great bet.
2. Her history has taught her what it takes to be a good partner.
They say there’s no better teacher than experience, and that’s especially true when something doesn’t work out. Seeing what doesn’t work shows you what to treasure, what you’re willing to give – and what you will no longer accept. Single moms who’ve been through separation and divorce make great partners precisely because they’ve learned this lesson. Life has taught them they cannot give nor expect perfection, and as a result, they’re able to focus on the real rhythms of healthy love.
3. If she falls for you, it’s the real deal.
Here’s a truism: single moms are busy women. They work hard to provide for their families, while also doing everything it takes to smoothly run a household. This means those dating a single mom have to share her time and attention, but there is a flipside: it also means that’s she’s simply too busy for games. If things aren’t working out, she’s far more likely to be upfront than waste her precious time stringing anyone along. Therefore, if she lets you into her life, be proud! She definitely thinks you’re someone special.