Healing emotionally isn’t always about waking up one day and feeling completely different. Sometimes, the signs are subtle, sneaking up on you in unexpected ways. We often expect this grand moment of clarity, a definitive ‘before’ and ‘after’. But in reality, it’s not always so clear cut.....KINDLY READ THE FULL STORY HERE▶
So how do you know if you’ve truly healed emotionally, especially when it doesn’t feel like it? It’s what I’ll be exploring today as the founder of Love Connection blog and a relationship expert.
In this article, I’ll be sharing some surprising signs that indicate you’re on the path to emotional healing, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
Emotional healing doesn’t mean that you’ll never face another hardship or that you won’t feel hurt anymore. It’s about how you respond to these moments.
In the past, if you were quick to anger or dissolve into tears at the slightest provocation, it indicated that your emotional wounds were still fresh. You were in a state of reaction.
But as you heal, you’ll notice a shift towards response rather than reaction. You start to take a moment, breathe, and consider your feelings before allowing them to spill over.
This change may seem subtle, but it’s a significant indication of emotional healing. It shows that you’re gaining control over your feelings rather than letting them control you.
Remember, it’s not about never feeling hurt or upset; it’s about handling these emotions in a healthier way. This ability to respond rather than react is one of the first signs that you’ve begun to heal emotionally, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Contrary to what many believe, emotional healing doesn’t mean becoming numb to your feelings. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
As you heal, you might find yourself feeling more deeply than before. This is because you’re no longer suppressing or avoiding your emotions.
You may feel sadness more intensely or experience joy more profoundly. This might initially appear as a setback, but it’s an important part of the healing process. It signals that you’re acknowledging and confronting your feelings rather than pushing them aside.
Feeling more deeply is a sign that you’re becoming more attuned to your emotional state and that’s a clear indication of emotional healing. So don’t be alarmed if you find yourself feeling more rather than less; it’s an essential step on the road to recovery.
Starting to truly enjoy your own company is a huge sign of emotional healing.
In the past, you may have been scared of being alone, constantly seeking out others for validation or comfort. This is common among those who struggle with emotional wounds.
As you heal, you’ll find that you start to value time spent with yourself. You might take up new hobbies, read more books (perhaps like Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship), or simply enjoy quiet moments of solitude.
This shift from fearing solitude to embracing it is a powerful sign that you’re beginning to find comfort and validation within yourself, which is a key element of emotional healing.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool in emotional healing. It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing hurtful behavior, but rather releasing the burden of resentment and grudges that weigh you down.
Interestingly, the person that many of us find hardest to forgive is ourselves. We tend to hold onto our own mistakes and shortcomings, beating ourselves up over things we should have done or said.
But as you heal emotionally, you’ll find that you become more forgiving towards yourself. You’ll start to accept that everyone, including you, makes mistakes and that’s okay.
I love this quote by Maya Angelou: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” As you heal emotionally, you’ll find yourself living by this wisdom, doing the best you can and accepting your past without letting it define your future.
Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships and self-care. But when we’re dealing with emotional wounds, setting boundaries can feel like an impossible task.
In the past, you might have found it hard to say ‘no’, fearing that it would push people away or cause conflict. But as you heal emotionally, you’ll find that you’re more comfortable setting and maintaining boundaries.
You’ll understand that boundaries are not about pushing people away but about respecting your own needs and well-being.
I remember a time when I found it incredibly hard to say ‘no’ to anyone. But as I healed emotionally, I realized that it’s okay to prioritize my needs and that doing so doesn’t make me selfish but self-aware.
So, if you’re finding yourself able to establish boundaries and stand by them even when it’s difficult, then it’s a clear sign that you’re healing emotionally. It indicates a growing respect for yourself and your needs, which is a vital step in the healing process.
Healing emotionally is also about learning to be present. When we’re dealing with emotional wounds, we often dwell on the past or worry about the future, which keeps us from truly experiencing the present.
As you heal, you’ll find that you’re more able to engage with the here and now. You start to savor the taste of your morning coffee, enjoy the sound of rain against your window, or simply appreciate a quiet moment.
Eckhart Tolle once said, “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” As I learned to embody this wisdom, I found that it helped me let go of past hurts and future anxieties and embrace the beauty of now.
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This might sound paradoxical, but acceptance is a huge part of emotional healing. And part of that acceptance is acknowledging that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
In a society that often promotes constant positivity, we can feel pressured to appear fine all the time. But the truth is, healing isn’t a linear process. There will be ups and downs. There will be days when you feel great and others when you feel not so great.
As you heal emotionally, you’ll learn to accept these fluctuations without judgment. You’ll understand that it’s part of the process and doesn’t mean you’re failing or moving backwards.
It shows that you’re becoming more compassionate towards yourself, recognizing that it’s okay to have bad days and that they don’t define your progress.
The journey of emotional healing is deeply personal and unique to each individual. It’s filled with ups and downs, moments of clarity, and times of confusion. But through it all, there are signs that indicate you’re on the right path, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
The signs we’ve discussed in this article are subtle shifts that can often go unnoticed.
They might not be grand gestures or dramatic turnarounds, but they are profound in their own way, signaling a deeper connection with oneself, a growing self-awareness, and a kinder approach to one’s own emotions and experiences.
I love this quote by the poet Rumi: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” As you heal, you’ll find that your wounds become your strengths, your vulnerabilities become your assets.
This journey of healing isn’t always easy, but it is important. It’s about embracing our humanity in all its rawness, understanding our emotions in all their intensity, and accepting ourselves in all our imperfections.
To delve deeper into some of the themes we’ve discussed in this article, I highly recommend this video by Justin Brown where he explores the idea of ‘the illusion of happiness’ and why chasing it can actually make us miserable.
It ties in beautifully with what we’ve been discussing about emotional healing.
Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It’s about learning to love yourself even when you’re a work in progress. As you continue on this path, may each step bring you closer to the person you’re meant to be.