My parents separated when my mother was pregnant with me. That’s because my father denied responsibility for the pregnancy. He didn’t even change his mind when I came out looking exactly like me. So my mum singlehandedly took care of me until she met a man who married......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
Unfortunately, her new man didn’t want me around. She had to send me away to live with my aunt to please him.
You know those Nigerian movie stories where wicked aunties mistreat their nieces and nephews? That was my childhood. I had specific clothes whenever my mum visited, so it would look like I was in good hands. But you should see the clothes I wore in her absence. They were literally rags.
I was not allowed to make mistakes in that house. If I dared erred, my punishments included starvation, slaps, and severe beatings. I did my best to endure but the maltreatment got so intense that I had to run away.
I went to live with my mother and her husband, thinking things would be better there. It was worse. My mother’s husband often abused her. Sometimes I tried to stand up to him. However, my strength was no match for his, so he would often abuse me too. Eventually, I gave up and stopped fighting him.
Since he didn’t want me around, I was sent to another aunt. That experience was even worse but I lived through it.
The things I saw my mother endure in her marriage shaped my perception of love and marriage. At some point, I even made a vow that I would never marry. Due to this, I stayed away from relationships during my teens.
However, when I got to the university my perception changed. I started thinking about love differently. The negativity hadn’t completely gone but I found myself thinking, “Instead of rejecting love, why not find a good woman and love her the way I wish my mother would have been loved?”
In my second year, I got my first girlfriend, Selorm. She was such a beautiful soul. She possessed traits that I didn’t know I was looking for in a woman; kindness, generosity, and a caring heart.
She loved me because I was brilliant and humble—at least, that’s what she told me. But she wanted something I didn’t fully understand, intimacy. I had no experience and no idea how to go about it.
My focus was my books. I knew where I was coming from and where I wanted to go. So all I wanted to do was learn and pass my exams without distractions. One day she told me, “I can’t do this anymore. You are not romantic at all.” That’s how it ended.
After I completed my national service, I got a one-year contract job. That was when I met Afia at church. I was struck by her beauty. And I was happy when I asked her out, and she didn’t decline it.
This time, I gave the relationship my all. I was generous, kind, and constantly present. I shared everything about myself with her. I gave her random gifts, surprises, and everything a man would do to express love to his woman. I was convinced Afia was the one I would marry.
Unfortunately, a year and a half into the relationship, her parents objected to our union because I am an Ewe man. I tried everything to change their minds, but nothing worked. Afia promised to stand her ground and fight for our love, and I believed her. But six months later, I found out she was sleeping with another man. My world came crashing down. It took me over a year to accept reality and move on.
Since then, something has felt missing in my life. I’m gainfully employed. I earn a good salary. Materially, I lack nothing. But emotionally, I needed someone to love. Someone to share my happiness with. Someone who would listen to me. Someone to call my own.
I was still searching for this special person when a few months ago, I visited a hospital to meet a doctor friend of mine. As I was about to leave, I noticed a student nurse. Just like in Afia’s case, this nurse’s beauty reeled me in. I paid close attention to her and found myself enamoured with her patience for her patients. She was so friendly, respectful, and humble. She patiently calmed down those who were frustrated by the long wait.
I walked away but I didn’t leave. Rather, I sat in my car and watched her for nearly two hours. She was consistent in her kindness. I thought to myself, “Why aren’t all nurses like this one?”
When I felt I had seen enough, I stepped out of my car and asked for her name, which she gladly gave. Then I held her wrist, walked her into my doctor friend’s office, and said to my friend, “This nurse of yours is exceptional. I love how patient and kind she is to everyone.” He smiled and said, “You’re not the first to say that. Mavis is truly special.”
I offered to buy her lunch, but she declined. I insisted, but she still refused. As we stepped outside, I handed her 50 cedis for lunch. Just as I was about to ask for her number, she was already reciting it.
From that day, we started talking. It didn’t take long before I found myself falling deeply for her.
I was about to propose love to her but a thought occurred to me. I never asked her age. When I finally did, she said; “Oh, I am twenty. I will be twenty-one this year.” I was shocked until she showed me her ID.
How could I be this careless? I’m turning thirty-two this year. I am over a decade older than her. I swallowed my feelings after this revelation.
We still talk. I give her money when she hasn’t asked. I shop for her anytime I feel like it. I do all this because I am deeply in love with her, but my conscience keeps telling me she’s too young.
I can tell she’s madly in love with me too. And when I finally gathered the courage to ask if she wasn’t worried about our age difference. She simply said, “What does it matter? Age is just a number.”
She has initiated intimacy between us twice but my every conscience stopped me from engaging her. I felt bad turning her down but I believe I would have felt worse if I went through with it.
What should I do? Is my conscience right? Should I just cut her off and let go of my feelings? Or I am the one overthinking everything.