I got to know him when I started working at a new place. He was also in the same company. We got along quite alright until he got an issue at the workplace and quit. The change in our circumstances did not change the dynamics of our friendship. We still got along quite well......Read The Full Article>>.....Read The Full Article>>
Over the years, he would call me from time to time and we would have conversations about life. We didn’t delve too much into our personal lives or our struggles at first. However, things started getting more personal in 2019. He was going through a lot and needed someone to pour out his heart to. I was that person for him.
He said he was a painter for a certain company. “I am a casual worker so I only get paid when there is work for me to do. Sometimes I work only three or four months in a year. The rest of the year, I stay at home with no work. I am struggling.” I was moved by his plight. I felt I could help him in my own little ways.
I gave him words of encouragement when he was disheartened. He visited me when he needed the comfort of my physical presence. They say we find love in unexpected places. I used to think this statement was untrue. But in no time we became a couple. So there is that.
He was the one who was always visiting me. Every time I asked to know where he lived he would give me an excuse. Today he would say, “Oh, my place is a mess. Give me time to clean up before I invite you over.” Tomorrow he would sing another song, “Oh, my mother’s sister’s child’s nephew is visiting me from our village. Let him leave before you visit.” I didn’t think he had anything to hide from me so I was patient.
In the seventh month, he finally came clean; “I am sorry I haven’t been completely honest with you. The reason I haven’t taken you home is because I am practically homeless. I sleep in somebody’s kiosk.” The owner of the kiosk used the place for her sewing business. So she would close first before my boyfriend would get the chance to sleep.
I was surprised to learn this from a thirty-seven-year-old man. I remember asking him, “Are you saying that you’ve been alive for this long and have had jobs but you couldn’t rent a place to live?” He claimed he used to live in a house that was on his family’s land. But the family sold the land and rendered him homeless. I said okay.
During the Christmas season that year, he couldn’t sleep early because it was peak business season for his seamstress landlady. We agreed then that he would move in with me. I didn’t have a job at the time but I strived to provide for us.
I took care of him in the letter of the word. Even his spiritual well-being. He was going through a lot of emotional and mental stress. So we often prayed together. Sometimes I would give him money to attend prayer meetings in different towns.
We kept pushing until I got a job. While I was working, I spoke to people on his behalf. I sent him job ads and encouraged him to apply to them. I did everything for him like I would do for myself. I trusted him as I would myself as well.
My job was demanding. I would leave the house at dawn and return home late at night. I didn’t have time for anything else. I couldn’t even go to the bank to deposit money in my savings account. I had to give the money to Kalu to make the deposits for me.
A few months down the line, I went to the bank one free day to check on my account. It was almost empty. I was confused. A little terrified too. Where did all my hard-earned money go?
I came home with questions. The only answer Kalu gave me was, “I am sorry. I used your money to buy sand and blocks for my building project. I promise I intend to pay you.”
His mother left him a piece of land. He started building on the land before we started dating. “When I get money, I invest it in the building,” he explained. I was angry that he used my money for this project of his. I would have said no if he asked me first but it didn’t help to be kept in the dark either.
With time, I learned to let go of my anger as we continued to live together. I still provided for his needs. I shopped for him too. I just wanted him to be happy, you know.
I remember how happy we were when he got a painting contract. We agreed that I would keep the money. He got a few jobs after that one. I kept those monies for him as well. When we got enough, we got a single-room apartment for him to rent and move out.
I want to believe that the day he finally moved out of my place was the beginning of our end. He started changing. I would go to his place for us to pray together. Right after prayers, he would ask for shuperu. When I refused he accused me of denying him intimacy. “If you want unlimited access to me then marry me,” I said. Of course, he couldn’t have married me. He didn’t have money.
While all my friends and family knew him, he chose to hide me from the people in his life. Sometimes he would tell me, “Don’t visit me. My cousin is coming around.” We fought about this until I forcefully went there during one of these “my cousins are around” moments.
That day I met another woman lying in his bed wearing a nightgown. I asked the lady who she was and she admitted Kalu was her boyfriend. I fought with him. I hit him. I asked him why he had to cheat on me after everything we went through. “You wasted my time for four whole years, and now you are here with a new girlfriend?” He couldn’t speak.
I was in so much pain. The trust I had in him was completely broken. A part of me wanted to consider all the four years I spent with him and take him back. But I chose to move on and heal.
The relationship ended in July. I found out this month that Kalu is getting married to the same lady I met in his room that fateful day. They’ve been together for seven months but he is marrying. Meanwhile, he didn’t have money to marry me after I spent four years of my life with him. I am so broken by this. Relationships have become a gamble. Sometimes you give your all but another woman swoops in and gets the man. Hmm … It’s well.
