One thing I love about my husband is that he is a provider. If this man could afford to give me the world and the people in it, he would. Although he can’t afford to give me the world, I can bet on my life that he would give me his last pesewa and starve to death if it came to it. Just as Jack sacrificed that piece of wood for Rose to live when the Titanic sank, my man would give me the last life jacket if we were in a sinking boat or ship. He loves me to death, I know it......Read The Full Article>>.....Read The Full Article>>
We’ve been married for five years now and we have two beautiful children. Our family is the kind magazines, billboards, and TV commercials portray as a model modern family. A soldier husband and a nurse wife raising kids together. If you stood outside our window watching us have breakfast or dinner, you would tell yourself, “I want a happy and peaceful family like theirs.” Truly, that is what we are.
The thing is, I can live a happy life as his wife as long as I am not obsessing over his extracurricular activities. By this, I mean his extramarital affairs. Yes, I have trust issues. Why wouldn’t I when I am married to a man who does not allow me to touch his phone? I am not saying I want to go through his phone but the way he behaves when I am near his phone makes me feel there is something on it he doesn’t want me to see.
Before you think I am being suspicious without cause, let me take you back to our relationship before marriage happened for us.
At the time I met him, I was recovering from a breakup that left my heart battered and bruised. Enough time had passed since things ended but I was afraid to try the whole love thing again. Whenever a man tried to get to know me, I would wonder, “So we will start talking, grow fond of each other and he would break my heart? No, let me be safe in my corner.” That thought kept my heart from getting hurt again until that fateful day at a wedding in my church when I met Oscar.
All we did was exchange contacts that day but based on our brief interaction, I knew he was interested in me beyond friendship. I wasn’t wrong. When we started talking he said he fell in love with me from the moment he set eyes on me. “I was just itching for the chance to find you alone so I could talk to you,” he confessed.
He seemed like a nice guy however I told him, “I am flattered by your attention but I am not interested in a relationship right now.” Unlike the other men who stayed away when I tried to push them away, Oscar was persistent. “Ivy, I am not trying to waste your time. I want to marry you,” he proposed. I wanted to believe him but the way my previous relationship turned out was seared to my brain. This made it hard for me to say yes to him, but eventually, he persuaded me to give him a chance.
A year into the relationship, he brought his family to meet mine for the knocking ceremony. They were given the marriage list and we started preparing for marriage. A few months after the knocking, I caught him on more than one occasion cheating on me with different women.
Each time he apologised and promised not to do it again. And each time I accepted the apology and gave him another chance. However, the last time I caught him, I was ready to call off everything and move on with my life. That day he begged me not to leave him. “I promise I will never cheat on you again, believe me.” I let him know it was his last chance. “If it happens again, I am gone.”
After that time, there were no incidences of that sort until we finally got married. After marriage, he has been the perfect husband but his determination to keep me away from his phone had me suspicious. I have also heard him a few times speaking on the phone with someone. There is a way men sound when they are talking to a woman. They speak softly and with a lower tone. That’s how I know the person on the other line is a woman. I have heard him ask her, “Why are you not answering my calls? What were you doing?” I asked him about it but he swore there was no other woman apart from me.
For a month, I had to be away from home because of a course I am taking. Nonetheless, our fifth year anniversary was coming up so I came home to prepare for a celebration. Upon my arrival, I decided to clean up a little. While I was rearranging things in our visitor’s room, I found a full pack of kiss condoms in his bag. I was stunned considering we don’t use condoms. I was a virgin when we met, and we never used protection when we started getting intimate. So he can’t give an excuse that it was before we got married.
He was not at home when I found the condoms so I couldn’t confront him. I have been trying to keep it together but I am falling apart. This is a keep myself for. I have never desired another man since I met him. Not even on lonely nights when he is away on UN duties and assignments. So why is it so hard for him to be faithful to me? Am I not enough for him?
Anyway, I have decided to confront him and end the marriage. He is a good man, an even better husband, and a great father but I can’t keep sharing my man with other women. I love him but I also love my life. I don’t want to contract any STI and die young and leave my kids motherless. I know perfectly well that he will deny that he has been cheating on me. This is why I won’t accept whatever explanations he gives me. I just hope I am making the right decision.
