wasn’t sure that a young and beautiful woman like her would give me a chance but I went ahead and lay all my cards on the table. “I am a struggling father,” I told her. I remember the look of uncertainty on her face as she asked, “How many kids do you have?” I raised two fingers in the air to indicate the number two. Then I asked, “Is that a deal breaker for you?” She shook her head to say no......Read The Full Article>>.....Read The Full Article>>
As we talked more, I opened up to her about my struggles. At first, she thought I only meant my journey as a single father. However, as the conversation progressed, she got to understand that I wasn’t doing well financially as well.
I remember telling her, “It’s quite unfortunate that you met me at a difficult time in my life. Things are hard for me right now. So I can’t make you any grand promises even if it is my desire to give you all the finest things in life.” All I had to offer her was my heart and undying love. “Will a woman like you accept these intangible gifts from a simple man like me?” I proposed.
Despite all my baggage, she agreed to give me a chance. My heart was brimming with joy when she gave me her answer. I told myself I would do everything possible to prove to her that she didn’t make a mistake by choosing me.
She never bothered me about money problems. She understood that if I had it in abundance, she wouldn’t have to ask. I would take care of her without a fuss. But I couldn’t do much for her because I earned so little. My only comfort was that whatever I got was enough to cover our bills and keep the family from going under.
Unfortunately, this comfort of mine was snatched from my hands about a year and a half ago when I lost my job. Since then, I haven’t gotten anything stable to do. I do a few things here and there to earn some cash but that’s just about it. There is no form of security. I have literally been living from hand to mouth.
Mavis knew this but last year, she put a lot of pressure on me to marry her. “I know money is a problem these days but it doesn’t have to be a big ceremony. We can do something small. We just need to be married.” Every time she brought up the topic I told her, “I love you but now is not a good time.”
Honestly, I would have married her in a heartbeat if I was standing on my feet financially. It wasn’t even about the cost involved in getting married. My concern was life after the wedding. It was bad enough that I didn’t know how I would get money to provide basic needs for myself and the kids. I didn’t want to add her into the mix for her to suffer a hard life. I couldn’t even support her as I should my girlfriend, so how would I provide for her if she became my wife?
This whole marriage talk put a strain on our relationship. She started drifting away from me while I did everything in my power to hold on to her. When I pushed and pushed, she finally said; “Two pastors have told me that you are not my husband.” She went on to say that people advised her not to marry a man who already had children. “Even my family won’t accept you when I mention that you are a dad,” she said matter-of-factly.
I was confused about this new development. Right from the moment we started talking, she assured me that my status as a parent wouldn’t come between us. So why is it now a determining factor for our future?
When you love someone, you fight for them. So I took a bold step and approached her sister about our issues. She was warm and polite toward me. “Don’t worry about anything. I will talk to Mavis,” she said after giving me a listening ear. The gentle and soft manner in which she spoke gave me hope that I had won her to my side.
Unfortunately, that hope was dashed to pieces when I found out that she rather added gasoline to the fire. She told Mavis that no matter what we do, they won’t allow her to marry me. She said I seem like a good guy but the fact that I have a child is a no-no for their family. Because of this and other forms of discouragement, my girl broke up with me.
I understand that she was in a difficult situation but is it that easy to let go of someone you love? Is she trying to tell me that everything we’ve been through together means nothing to her? I don’t want to be selfish and hold on to her when I know I have nothing to offer her. Nonetheless, it doesn’t sit right with me to watch over two years of relationship go down the drain just like that.
She is a good woman: everything a man could ask for. Losing her is a great blow to every aspect of my life. I wish I could convince her to come back to me but I don’t think I can win. After all, her people asked her what she gained from the years she spent with me. We both know her answer is nothing.
How can I go back to this same woman with my empty hands and ask for another chance? It sounds like an impossible mission but what I find unfathomable is the thought of living my life without her.
I know she already left but I can’t bring myself to let her go. Maybe I am delusional but I am still hanging on to a thread of hope that she would come back to me. The question is, how do I get her back? What else can I do or say to convince her to have faith in me and believe that our future is bright?