I read two stories of women whose husbands had problems with them returning to school, and it inspired me to share my own experience on the subject......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
I married a man who is ten years older than me. I was just completing my bachelor’s degree at the time we got married. He seemed like the kind of man who would push his woman to excel. My parents saw this too. So they did not withhold their blessings from us.
Just a year into our marriage, I graduated. Around the same time, my husband also finished with his studies and got his master’s degree. I was inspired by him. I too wanted to pursue higher studies so I would position myself better for employment.
When I expressed this desire to my husband he shook his head and firmly said, “No, I will not allow it. Your primary role in this marriage is to be a housewife and raise our children.” I tried to convince him otherwise but he insisted that I wait till our youngest child turn ten, before I consider further studies.
He also didn’t want me to work but I didn’t listen. I found a part time job that allowed me to report three days a week.
The work afforded me the opportunity to save some money for school. When I finally enrolled, his reaction was something else.
He argued with me over every little thing. Sometimes he would storm off and go spend the night in a hotel. Other times he wouldn’t come home at all. He also stopped providing for the household. All he did was pay our rent. I had to cover the cost of our children’s school fees, food, and clothing all by myself.
By my second year in the program, things got worse. My husband started a relationship with our housemaid. This was a girl I brought from my village to come live with us. I can’t even put into words the pain that betrayal caused me.
I thought I could fight for him. I mean I tried, but I lost in the end. This man moved out. He and the maid went to live in an apartment in our neighborhood. Before he left he told me, “I needed a full-time housewife but you failed at that.”
I was so heartbroken that I cried endlessly. Even after all this, I still didn’t want to lose him. I did everything I could to make him come back, but nothing worked. When I got tired of crying, I had to accept what had happened and move on with my life.
Two months after he moved out, I decided to get a new apartment so I would find peace and heal.
Despite everything, I refused to let the heartbreak stop me from achieving my goals. I continued with my master’s degree while working to provide for my children.
He lived nearby but he refused to see or even speak to our children for eighteen whole months. You would think they were the ones he left and not me.
I was at home one day when he sent me divorce papers. I mean, I knew our marriage was over but seeing those papers felt like the final nail in the coffin of everything we had built. The painful part was that he transferred ownership of our farm to his mother before serving me the papers.
A lot of drama happened in between, but in the end, I completed my master’s program and finalized the divorce.
It’s been four years since I completed school and so much has changed. After school, I secured a job that pays me ten times more than my previous one. And oh, I fell in love with a wonderful man. We are happily married now.
Unlike with my ex-husband where we live in a rented apartment, my husband and I own a beautiful home that we paid for without acquiring loans. I am not saying this is a fairytale ending but we live happily with my children from my previous marriage.
I am just sharing this story to reach out to other women who are experiencing the hell my ex put me through because I wanted to better myself. Know this, life always offers second and even third chances. God never sleeps. He is always ready to help when you call on Him.
PS: My ex-husband and the maid are no longer together. She left him and returned to the village. She is now married to another man while he remains single. And he is still living in the same rented apartment they once shared.