We had a book we kept the names in. My friends and I, that’s what we did out of boredom. We thought it was fun to write the names of the girls we were entertaining in our house. It was a little friendly competition we had going. I don’t even know whose idea it was for us to start. I don’t even remember who did it first. We were just young and silly.....KINDLY READ THE FULL STORY HERE▶
There were three of us who decided to rent a three-bedroom apartment at Kasoa. The rent was affordable. And the cost of living over there, as compared to other places in Accra was quite good. We believed we could live comfortably over there while we put one or two things together for our future. These two guys are my closest friends. I knew them so well that I was sure I could live with them without having any problems.
Shortly after we moved in, we started playing a game. It had to do with women and our sexuality. We chose to keep count of the number of women we brought home. We had a notebook in which we wrote the names of the girls. Each of us had a column to record the girls we would each bring home. The winner was supposed to be whoever had the highest number.
We lived in that house for five years. By the end of the duration, all three of us had thirty women between us. That’s how crazy we had been. We had convinced ourselves that freedom meant living on our own and having as many women warm our beds as were willing to. It didn’t matter if we were happy with that lifestyle. All that we cared about was that it was fun while it lasted.
I, for instance, was not happy. I craved something more. I wanted a more meaningful and deeper connection. I didn’t want to be with a woman because she added to the number on my list of conquests. That’s why after our rent expired, I moved to the next two communities.
I was still in Kasoa but in a new environment. It was my way of giving myself a fresh start. I have completely closed the chapter of that old life. It took a while to work on myself but I did. The next time I started a relationship with a woman, I made sure I was in a place where I was ready to start something serious.
That’s the nature of my current relationship right now. She is not just someone I am stringing along in an attempt to increase my body count. My intentions toward her are genuine and honorable. When I plan my future, she is in every aspect of it. She knows how I feel about her and what she means to me. Everything was going according to plan until recently.
Unfortunately, she came across the notebook. The one that contains the list of the women from my past. I didn’t know it was in my possession until she found it. Ever since that time, we’ve been having problems. She said, “I understand that you’ve changed but this is a habit you cultivated over five years. You know what they say, old habits die hard.” I assured her I had no intention of revisiting this particular old habit but she is not convinced.
Every time the subject came up she would ask, “What if you have an itch one day? Some of these girls are still in your life. You are close to them despite the fact you have such a sordid history. What will you do if you are tempted to use them to scratch the itch?” I assured her I would do no such thing but she said, “I know Kasoa girls and what they are capable of doing. Some of these girls don’t mind giving themselves to you even if they know you have someone else you are committed to.” She concluded by saying the only way she will be at peace is if we move away from Kasoa.
I have spoken to her several times and promised her I won’t stray but she does not accept it. According to her, “Out of sight, out of mind.” She believes if I no longer see the girls or have access to them, then we are truly safe from the ghosts of my past coming to haunt us.
Moving away will be difficult for me because I bought a piece of land close to where I live. I have started a project on the land. It helps to live close to my investment because I get to keep an eye on it. My girlfriend knows this but she is not willing to compromise.
She has given me an ultimatum. It is either we move to another place outside Kasoa or she leaves the relationship. None of the girls she is worried about has made an appearance in our lives but my girl keeps telling me, “I cannot fight with your hood girls so let’s move.”
Apart from my land, there is nothing tying me to Kasoa. My job is outside the town, and her job is in Accra. Sometimes I feel the true reason she wants us to move is because commuting to work and back, is stressful for her. That’s not something she has said so I can’t address the issue from that angle.
All she tells me is that she doesn’t like Kasoa anymore. I love her. I am currently in my early thirties and ready to settle down with her any moment from now. I would hate to lose her because of this thing from my past that has no impact on our relationship. That’s why I need advice on what to do.
We are still talking about a compromise but it’s difficult. It seems reasonable for me to stay here because of my project on the land. She also says she won’t be with me while I am still in a place where I can easily see these girls. Nothing I have said has convinced her that there is no temptation. What step will you take if you were in my shoes?