Whenever I go through his messages and read their chats, there is always something new to make me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is even putting it lightly. What I mean to say is, disturbed and unhappy. One time she told him, “Don’t call me tonight. My husband is home.” Tell me, how is a wife supposed to see a message like that and sleep well at night? How am I not supposed to feel all is not well with my marriage?.....See Full Story>>.....See Full Story>>
When I tell my husband I don’t like his constant communication with Akua, he tells me; “Why are you wigging out over this? Chill, she is just a friend.” He says it so casually, as if he is talking about his buddy, Steve. He makes it look like I am acting insecure for no reason.
I want to know, which woman here would be comfortable with her husband having conversations with a particular woman every single day. Sometimes they talk throughout the day. The evidence is in their chats. Other times they talk for an hour or more.
There are days that even when I am in the bedroom with him, he speaks to her on the phone in my presence. I am not talking about texting. I mean phone calls. This is why I am certain that my husband is in love with Akua. In fact, I am certain he loves her more than he loves me. I am pretty sure, he wishes he married her instead of me.
In case you are wondering why I think he loves her, I will tell you. A few months before we got married, he started acting shady. You know the typical signs men show you when there is a new chic in town. They become less attentive to you. Too busy to respond to messages. Always in a hurry to end a phone conversation when they are talking to you. Unavailable to see you in person when you want to spend time with them. He was doing all this. It was unlike him so I set out to find out the cause of his unprovoked change.
I discovered during my investigation that there was another woman in the picture. It was this same Akua. I told him, “If she is the one you want then go and be with her. I am leaving.” He didn’t let me. “I can’t lose you,” he begged, “It’s you I love. That lady doesn’t mean anything to me.” He swore heaven and earth that he would never cheat again if I gave him another chance.
I looked at everything we had been through together as a couple and forgave him. Truly, he showed no visible signs of cheating until we got married. Even after we got married, he was always present until a few years passed. That was when I noticed some changes and went all Nancy Drew on him. You can imagine my shock when I found out Akua was the same woman taking away his attention from me and our kids.
I didn’t want to lose my marriage to another woman who has a husband of her own. So I sat my husband down and let him know I was not pleased that he was still in touch with Akua. He answered that they were just friends. Fine, if you are just friends with someone and your partner tells you they are uncomfortable with the friendship, shouldn’t you consider their feelings? What will this man lose if he cuts her off and focuses on our family? Unless of course, they are more than friends. That’s the only reasonable explanation as to why he would keep her after all these years at the expense of my happiness.
Currently, we’ve been together for over ten years. We have four children together. Our family is all I ever dreamed of when I thought about being a wife and a mum. My only problem now is Akua. The way she has a special throne in my marriage as if she belongs here. And my husband keeps her like a relic that needs to be preserved for future generations. That’s why I am sure this man does not love me. It is her he would rather be with. He must think he made a mistake by choosing me. Why else would he hold on so tightly to her? A woman who already belongs to another man.
I love this man but sometimes I regret marrying him. If he had told me he loved Akua when I caught him cheating on me with her, I would have let him go. Losing him then would have been better than being stuck with a man whose actions show he does not care about my happiness. Am I wrong to believe that they are still seeing each other? If they are just friends as he says, why does he need to talk to her every day for long hours? What at all could they be talking about? Am I overreacting or is this how friendships work?