I met Rosie in my first year at the Polytechnic. I couldn’t not have noticed her. Her striking beauty turned heads everywhere she went. And from the moment I saw her, I was drawn to her. I was so happy when we started talking. I told myself, “I get to be friends with the pretty girl.” Everything about her excited me; her smile, intelligence, and the ways she made even the most mundane things feel meaningful......Read The Full Article>>.....Read The Full Article>>
It got to a point where I had to be honest with myself. My interest in her went beyond friendship. I knew I had feelings for her I am not one to beat about the bush when I like someone. So I decided to be upfront and let her know.
I went straight to the point and proposed love to her. Unfortunately, she didn’t reciprocate my feelings. She wasn’t mean about it though. She was gentle but firm when she told me there was no future for us.
She made it clear in many ways that we could never be more than friends. And yet, I didn’t give up. I felt if I pushed hard enough I could win her heart. So I did everything I could to show her how much I cared. I was there for her. I helped her with her studies, and made sure she passed her exams. It hurt to be so close to her and not be with her but I pushed my feelings aside.
Three years of tertiary education passed, and we were always in each other’s lives. It just wasn’t in the way I wanted. Throughout that time, I watched her move from one relationship to another, sometimes with guys I knew. Every time she chose someone else, it was clear to me: I wasn’t what she wanted.
But even after graduation, when I relocated to Germany and she was still in Ghana, I couldn’t shake off my feelings for her. I kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, she’d see me in a different light. They say consistency gets results, right?
That’s why I kept reaching out, and trying so hard to make something happen between us. But she was always clear; “No, I am not interested in you romantically.” Finally, I accepted that she didn’t want me that way. And that was it. I left her alone.
Then, something unexpected happened. A few years after we graduated I heard from her again. She told me, “I have had to move from Ghana. I have relocated to the Netherlands.” She added that she was single. All her past relationships hadn’t worked out. She didn’t state it in clear terms but I understood she was inviting me to make another proposal in case I was also single. But I didn’t.
All of a sudden, she started showing clear signs that I was the one she was looking at next. When I didn’t act on the hint she graduated to pushing for things to happen between us. “I don’t want to play games. I am too old for that,” she said, “I want something serious that will lead to marriage.”
This whole thing feels strange to me. The girl who had turned me down countless times is now acting as if I am her only option. She doesn’t want to date or take things slow to see if we are even compatible. When we spoke, she jumped straight to conversations about a serious relationship that leads to marriage. It doesn’t matter to her that we just reconnected.
To be honest, I am not sure what to make of it. The girl who once shut me out now wants to rush into a lifelong commitment with me.
I have been thinking about what she wants. In my reflection, it dawned on me that our friendship never got physical. Yes, we were close. We have been going strong for years. However, we never got physically close. She never allowed us to sleep in the same room, let alone be intimate. Sometimes, even something as simple as a hug would make her uncomfortable. So I am asking myself why she wants to marry me now if she couldn’t tolerate my touch then.
Now, I find myself at a crossroads. I love her. I’ve loved her for so long. But as I look at the situation, I can’t help but wonder if we’re truly compatible in the ways that matter most. We’ve been friends for years, but marriage, with all its complexities and expectations, feels like a different kind of challenge.
So, here I am, trying to understand where I stand. I’ve invested so much into this relationship, but I can’t ignore how I was treated during our Polytechnic days. My feelings are still there, but I also need to ask myself if love alone is enough to build a future.
