We started our relationship three years ago. We both live in Ghana but in different regions. This means we’ve been doing the long-distance thing right from the moment the relationship began. Living apart from your partner can be hard. When we miss each other, we would have to make do with regular texting, phone conversations, and video calls......See Full Story>>.....See Full Story>>
Due to work and other engagements, we don’t get the opportunity to meet in person often. He is either too held up to visit or I am also too engaged to make a trip to see him. It wasn’t always like that though. Once in a while, our timings aligned perfectly. Those were the few moments we spent some quality time together.
In between those precious moments, we made other beautiful memories despite the distance between us. We spoke at least twice a day. This is something we silently agreed on. No matter how busy we were, we wouldn’t go an entire day without talking. That’s how we kept the closeness and connection going for three years.
Although we knew right from the beginning that marriage was our goal for the relationship, we only actively started talking about it last year. I suppose that was when we started feeling ready to make the big jump.
We went to see his parents after we had the conversation. They exuded so much warmth and love toward me. After meeting them we met my family too. Everybody loved him. The next thing for us was to start preparations. However, we had to put it all on hold. The new plan was that we would do it next year.
I know he doesn’t have money in abundance so I don’t go to him with money problems. Whenever we have to do something together, I also contribute financially to it.
We were both happy and enjoying our relationship until his recent changes. I don’t know what has gotten into him. He has become secretive all of a sudden. I don’t know any plans of his anymore. He doesn’t discuss anything with me. I am the one doing most of the calling now in the relationship.
When I call too, he speaks as if he has budgeted his words. Just a few clauses and phrases here and there. Nothing meaningful to make the conversation engaging. Basically, he makes no attempt to hide his disinterest in talking to me.
When I insist on getting him to talk he would react harshly, “Why are you asking me so many questions?” Sometimes he would say, “If you don’t have anything to say you don’t have to talk about unnecessary issues.”
I have tried to address his change in behavior but all he tells me is I am exaggerating. I don’t like the way things are. I know this is not what a healthy relationship looks like.
On more than one occasion I have asked him if I have done something to offend him. I even begged for forgiveness in case I erred somewhere. His response is always, “You’ve not done anything to me.” I am disturbed. I don’t feel like I’m dating the same person anymore. He is too different now from the person I was making marriage plans with. What should I do?