Valentine’s Day is always dramatic, but when it lands on a Friday, it turns into a full-blown Nollywood blockbuster. It’s like the universe gave lovers an entire weekend to recover from the emotional rollercoaster, financial heartbreak, and unexpected plot twists......CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE>>>>>
Let’s be honest—once people realized February 14th was a Friday, several categories of humans braced themselves for impact.
1. The Last-Minute Lovers
These people have spent the past week confidently saying, “Valentine’s Day is just another day.” But today? Panic mode activated! They’re now speed-walking through traffic, hoping to find a roadside vendor selling last-minute “Val gift packages” containing a confused teddy bear, an oversized card that says “My Sweet Heart” (yes, two words), and chocolates older than their relationship.
2. The “Every Day is Valentine’s” Philosophers
These ones move around dropping deep quotes like, “I don’t need one day to show love.” Nice one, Socrates, but let’s check your relationship history—when was the last time you did anything romantic? Ah, exactly.
3. The Budget Lovers
Not every hero wears a cape—some just know how to make magic happen with limited funds. A candlelit dinner? Thank PHCN for the blackout ambiance. A heartfelt poem? AI-generated but romantic. And if money is really tight, there’s always the ultimate backup plan: changing your WhatsApp DP to a cute couple picture and posting “Love is not about money.”
4. The Singles in Denial
They say, “Valentine’s is overrated,” but their entire feed is filled with heartbreak memes. They’ve muted everyone’s Instagram stories, unfollowed any friend who received a bouquet, and by midnight, they’ll be tweeting, “Where are the real ones? Love is a scam.” We see you, beloved. Stay strong.
5. The Lovers Overdoing It
We get it, you’re in love. But must you post 45 Instagram stories of your partner chewing food? Must we endure a full PowerPoint presentation of how you met? Please, release us.
6. The Restaurants and Hotels Cashing Out
Every restaurant suddenly has a “Lover’s Exclusive” menu—same jollof rice, just served with candlelight at four times the price. And let’s not forget the hotels—fully booked! Some people will be sleeping on their friends’ couches tonight because their house has been “borrowed” for Valentine’s festivities.
7. The “God When?” Committee
These ones are currently taking notes, zooming in on engagement rings, analyzing bouquet sizes, and saving screenshots for future relationship arguments. “You see what Sandra’s boyfriend did for her? Let me not talk.”
In the End, Love (and Chaos) Wins
Whether you’re madly in love, tired of love, confused by love, or just here for the Valentine’s drama, one thing is sure—February 14th will come and go, but the receipts, screenshots, and heartbreak memes will last forever. Enjoy the day, and for the singles, remember: Jollof doesn’t break hearts.